i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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