He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
