the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
