was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
