You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
