i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
