Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Boobs speak an international language.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
