Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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