Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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