he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
