Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
