Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
