3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
