I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
