If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
