Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
