lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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