shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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