this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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