Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
