I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
