I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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