Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
