he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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