this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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