the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
