and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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