ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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