Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
