youre lurking in front of me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
