bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
