Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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