haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
