New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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