did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
