Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
