The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
