you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
