When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
