It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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