I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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