I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
