I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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