As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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