So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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