I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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