I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
