Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
