I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
