I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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