I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
