I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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