Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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