it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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