At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
