I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
